Why Nice People Get Sick

We all know someone who doesn’t have the word No in their vocabulary, if you clicked on this blog post voluntarily, it’s probably you. And yet, despite your good nature, you seem to get sick more often than others. Whether it’s a common cold, a consistent headache or a chronic condition, there’s always something niggling in that body of yours. But, could this really be linked to your disease to please? Let's find out.

What is a “nice person”?

We’ll all have our own definitions of a “nice person”. Nice is usually a trait associated with being kind or caring or loving, but for me, someone who is being nice isn’t being any of those other things, because they’re not being kind, caring and loving to themselves. A nice person is simply agreeing to do and be anything and everything to everyone out of fear. Fear of judgement, fear of not being liked, fear of rejection, fear of conflict, and fear of being difficult, despite the consequences for themselves. By my definition and for the sake of this blog post, a nice person is defined as someone who will do pretty much anything for anyone to keep the peace and keep everyone happy, but themselves.

So what is it that makes nice people sick?

Stress

One of the biggest oversights in modern day medicine is the link mental and physical health. Most people associate stress with the mind and sickness in the body, but one of the main reasons why nice people may get sick more often is the stress that comes with caring for others, and stress is a pre-curser for sickness.

Nice people are often the ones who are always there for their friends and family, putting others' needs before their own. While this is a wonderful trait, it can also be incredibly stressful. When we care for others, we are often exposed to their health problems. We worry about their wellbeing, we take care of them, and we often neglect our own self-care making us more susceptible to stress and illness.

You might have heard the term “stress head”, but popular to contrary belief, stress isn’t just mental. The spike in cortisol during stressful periods can weaken the immune system, making us more vulnerable to infections and diseases.

Self-neglect

As you know, nice people have a hard time saying no. Nice people often feel guilty when they turn down requests for help or invitations to social events. As a result, they may end up taking on too much and neglecting their own needs and wants, such as getting enough sleep and taking time to rest and decompress. As well as the illness caused by a weakened immune system neglecting your own needs can result in burnout, emotional exhaustion, and vulnerable to mental illness.

The idea of saying "no" will give a nice person the chills, especially if they want to help others or be seen as reliable and dependable. However, saying "yes" to everything can be detrimental to our health. If we don’t care for ourselves we can’t care for others. Make yourself a priority.

Internalising emotions

Nice people have a tendency to internalise their emotions, which can also contribute to increased stress levels and a weakened immune system. This looks like bottling up feelings and avoiding difficult conversations or situations, rather than expressing their feelings and dealing with them head-on. This can lead to increased anxiety, stress and depression.

It's important to acknowledge and express our emotions in a healthy way. Therapy is incredible, but if you struggle to share your feelings try keeping a journal so you can express yourself in private. Getting it out on paper will help you acknowledge and understand your emotions better and may even give you the confidence to share with another person.

To be clear...

You’re not a bad person for being a nice person, but you’re probably not doing yourself any favours. If you can relieve yourself of the responsibility of everyone else’s comfort and happiness, and start prioritising yourself, everyone will benefit.